"Google it."
"Do I want to?"
"What do you mean? It's just Google."
"You say Google like it's a good thing. Like it's an entity that bears some sort of universal answer."
"It's a search engine. Nothing more, nothing less. Unless we go into Google Maps, but it's all the same difference, on some satellite-dish stalking level. You search for a place, it finds it for you. Especially in America. Yeah, they have the streets labeled in America."
"That's creepy. The zoom-in function too. Like, you can zoom down to street level and stare face to face with someone's house. Sometimes you can see their cars too. But never people. That's the part
i bet if you broke her heart you would apologize.
you'd curl his fingers around her locks and cop out
i bet if you broke her heart you would say 'i'm so sorry'
only i would know you 'sincere' pardon-me's were hollow
and she could carry on with her high self esteem
her brain leisons all in tact
while i'm left here, trying to connect red wires to blue
my abdomin muscle's the only thing keeping me together
walking across a tight rope wire crying,
'this should be you, i knew better. this should be her,
she's so fucking niave, i thought i knew better--'
and i'll be the one up with you at six in the morning
hardly keeping myself toget
tomorrow a woman will lie in bed, biting her tongue so her husband won't hear her cry. there will be day old make up caked to her face and streams of it will run down her cheeks, nose, and chin. she will be in her undergarments and her nice jewelry will be on the ground or lost in a sea of sheets that smell like him. she'll breathe that smell in until it's gone. until it's taken away from her, just like he was. because today her husband will be buried and at the funeral where he lies in his coffin, dressed in uniform, she won't even hear the gunshots go off for him with her dry eyes closed, remembering. she'll get home and cry and cry and cry
"you look like you've been using."
"no."
"then why the fuck do you look like a dead thing."
"because i'm almost a dead thing."
"what?"
"i'm dying."
"you can't die."
"i can, and i am."
"shut up."
"you don't mean that."
"no."
"my hands are shaking. i'm scared. i need a cigarette."
"those things will kill you."
"i'm already dying, einstein."
"oh yeah."
"yeah."
"so you're really scared?"
"aren't you?"
"what are you dying of?"
"something incurable."
"cancer?"
"no. huntington's disease."
"what the fuck is that?"
"it's neurodegenerative."
"what?"
"it causes deterioration of the brain."
"so...?"
"i won't be able to remember
what to do if california sinks by ChloroformBoy, literature
Literature
what to do if california sinks
step one: when you realize
the west coast is drowning
in the sea's heart, don't panic.
not now, not here, not ever.
no matter how much it kills you
that the left side holds every
dream you forced yourself awake in,
from the flame-ridden weddings
to being bludgeoned with a bat,
don't fucking panic.
step two: realize that the girl on the right
will actually talk to you, and even listen!
disregard the fact that you've spent half
your life, half an hour, fishing in an empty
lake (not that you ever had bait anyway)
step three: realize dreams
are just imaginary friends;
nightmares, imaginary enemies.
realize evaporation is fake
a
My hands are decorated with
Ink and paper cuts,
And blessed with
The blisters of creativity.
I am a creator,
A designer,
A mother.
I breathe life into the
Paper dolls destined to be
Heartstring-pulling characters.
I can create detailed images with words alone,
And bend stiff rules into
Intricate artwork.
I am resolved to find
Bags under my eyes,
Chewed-on pencils at my desk,
And frustration on the
Tip of my tongue.
But I will persist.
I will struggle through the mess to
Once again find the allure of my amour.