this afternoon
unresponsive to the sunlight
lying in bed like summer afternoons and white sheets
still moments in our room
so quiet i can hear your ribcage shifting with each breath
but winter -
winter is coming,
the air is so cold,
my bones break inside.
your remove yourself from me,
turn your head away,
hand slipping out of mine,
curling into yourself.
this morning
waking up to brightness outside
the crisp air is singing with potential but
i am quiet
i am inside
i am by myself on this big bed.
ah yes,
the second coming of Christ has happened,
it is here.
do not shake your head!
how could He not return?
i hear them calling His name
echoing out of the slums, the squalor in the streets.
the peasants beg for Him to arrive
in all his fleshy splendor.
yes yes it is He indeed
Him of entrails
of piss
of bloated gut and gangly fingers
and roving eyes.
truly, the Rapture is commencing.
the lame, the dying, the lost:
they have found their
prophet, their bloated
mannequin.
and yet,
the mighty have taken His Word
and plastered it to billboards;
they’ve crucified His meaning and crowned it,
labeled it.
they dress Him up
i thought i was dangerous until i met you by 369dreamergirl, literature
Literature
i thought i was dangerous until i met you
my heart beat blue, beat smooth,
smudging into the grooves
of your fingers like powder;
my heart beat gunfire,
pummeling holes in my ribcage.
it was shaking from the cold
of the pouring monsoon -
i was visibly moved.
intoxicated in your gardens,
smelling the song of flowers in my mind,
i died:
died a thousand deaths.
here,
i quivered from the nonexistence
of your touch,
stumbling with the weight of unpayable debts,
the price of stealing away
your velveteen breath.
i spent all my life chasing after your time;
running towards sounds in the indigo night,
like a blind man's hands
reaching for the light.
i waited
i waited
(oh god,
i'm sick of wanting you by 369dreamergirl, literature
Literature
i'm sick of wanting you
i know what you were trying to say
but listen:
it's so easy to forget.
it only takes a few weeks of lying to yourself -
until the taste of his slick skin is nothing but a strange
long-forgotten scent that drifts by you,
brought by the wind one moment, gone the next;
until his name doesn't drag shivers down your spine,
(it only makes your nails cut moons into
the sweetsoft of your palm)
until the sound of his voice
doesn't make your lips part like hungry roses,
until the idea of his breath,
ghosting softly over your cheek,
can't make you crumble anymore.
no. it's so easy, so simple.
it's only a few more turns of the clock hands,
on
this is what it feels like by 369dreamergirl, literature
Literature
this is what it feels like
when you look for love in other people's flesh-
search for it in the curve of their hips, the dip of their lips
the tightness of stomach and swell of their breasts
- it becomes almost too easy to forget
how quickly we rot,
how willingly our bones sink back into the cold embrace of earth
so simple to lose yourself in their meaningless touch.
but when you find love in someone's soul,
hear it in the drumbeat of their heart,
the sigh in their breath or sound of their steps
(and you breakshiversnap because you'll bend,
every fucking time,
in any direction they ask you)
when you find love like that,
you never stop imagining exactly how e
how many ripples you can cause
in the ocean of someone's heart,
each person has a tidal system they must abide and sometimes,
(even though you know better than to fight the waves)
you can't help but fool yourself into thinking
you can dive a little deeper.
(even though you're running out of air already)
and i am already becoming an expert in
clasping my hands together just right
so that it feels like someone else's fingers
interlaced with mine,
i know how to drape one leg over the other
to make it seem as though it's your ankle touching my foot
i press my back to the pillow beside me,
pretend its more than
just my body warmth heati
The Fourteen Stages (revisited) by 369dreamergirl, literature
Literature
The Fourteen Stages (revisited)
The Fourteen Stages of Dealing With Loss:
One. None of this can be true. I know you're a trickster, a jester, a comedian, and this is exactly the type of thing you'd pull. I know how it's supposed to work, and your departure - it doesn't happen like this.
Two. I am an empty house, with two cats left scratching at the door, waiting for you to return. There is nothing left for me. I am tired of crying in the corner of my closet, but time flies and flies and sometimes, I cannot wait for the clocks to stop ticking.
Three. Your hands are like magnets and I feel mine burn when you don't hold them. You are everything to me, your love more importa
i hope you read this by 369dreamergirl, literature
Literature
i hope you read this
dear boy:
no matter how many roses crumble to ash,
i will still love their lingering scent.
no matter how quickly the birds fly from sight,
i still treasure the sound of their song.
do you see what i mean?
there is more to love than touch.
i cannot help that you are a live wire and each touch to my skin
is a shock that leaves me craving more.
you wield it against me
(and often)
but there are more sparks here than just body to body
- i think -
there is more to love than touch.
and perhaps my examples of building you an empire,
making you a king,
are a bit far-fetched and overused
but you know it's true when i say
i'll do anything y
i hate myself and you aren't helping by 369dreamergirl, literature
Literature
i hate myself and you aren't helping
how do i tell you that you hurt me,
that every time you brush me off or mock me
or put someone else before me
you hurt me
how do i tell you without saying it in so many words?
it's painful because i would never;
i do everything in my power to avoid it
i say sorry first
i always want to be there
i do everything i can for you, everything you ask me to.
and yet you act the way you do.
it's like you're purposefully drifting away -
like a feather on the surface of a pond,
reaching for the other shore.
love is kisses and the scent of your skin and time spent together,
the feeling of your fingers entwined with mine,
seeing you smile whe